Wish List Wednesday: Just putting it out there

Today I wish for a quaint little house with a back yard and lots of natural light. Hard wood floors, high ceilings, original trim, a dish washer and a fireplace.
What... go big or go home!

I know that my mind should be entertaining a townhouse sandwiched between two other families with screaming kids... but I just can't.

I envision chickens running around in the back yard and the dogs, cat and Parker coming in and out as they wish. A garden growing so big it's out of my control! The freedom, the energy, I can't stand it!

And this is where we disagree. Doug would argue this is my long term vision, what we can have in a year or so. I understand and it's possibly quite true, but if it were possible now wouldn't that be amazing!!!

It's hard to imagine where we are going to live, the streets we will walk, play grounds we will shed blood on (!!) and coffee shop we will make our own. This is where the control freak in me becomes more of a weakness. I am drifting... Instead of seeing the beauty and spontaneity in not knowing what town we will make ours and the home we will call, HOME - I am mildly wrapped up in the uncomfortableness of the unknown. Feeling vulnerable and open...

Today, I am working on letting go, trusting and 'rolling with it!' However, in case all of this is a possibility - I'm just putting it out there!

Let the memorization begin!

Have you met a Buckeye fan? They are CRAZY... and we have been gone a really long time!
People reference team members like they are family, the town shuts down and the drinking begins!

Surprise! Doug and I will be moving back the week of May 2. We have LOVED our time away, meeting amazing people and experiencing beautiful places and challenged ways of living.

But the time has come. Another chapter of our book is written and the empty pages encourage us to DREAM BIG and DO BIG so that they too can tell our stories.

We are looking forward to holidays spent with families, birthday parties, over night stays with grandma & grandpa and time spent with my sister and old friends!!!!

God has been so evident in this process and we thank Him first and foremost... and you all, we thank you second!

Stay tuned!

Weekend Warriors: Gentle

How do you teach a child to be gentle?
Gentle with the toy that he is so violently swinging.
Gentle with the little babe whose eyes he is scratching
or lip he is pulling

Gentle with the hair of the kitty he is pulling
or mom and dad's big nose!

I imagine it very similar to our relationship with God.
The desires and wills he has for us...
yet he has to be patient until we understand.

Until we can understand the consequences of our actions
and make the choice on our own.

I have had a couple of moms tell me parenting has awakened them
to the true love that God clearly has for us...
And I am humbled everyday!

Alive and Well!

Sorry for the absenteeism this week!

I've been working on a lot of projects and blogging was put on the shelf.

The good news is:

It's been an exciting week full of new births, new beginnings and budding life.

I will be back next week in full swing!

Happy Friday!

love, hugs & light

Whoopie!

What better day of the week than Tuesday, for some amazing Whoopie goodness!
Which ever kind you'd like really.

I made these the other day and I think I personally ate them all, but one.
(these are from a gluten free website that I LOVE, check it out!)

Cake & Commerce's Whoopie Pies

Makes approximately 12 filled Pies

• 4 oz (1 stick) butter
• 1 Cup Sugar


• 1 Egg + 1 Egg yolk
• 1 C Buttermilk
• 1 t Vanilla extract

• 2 t guar gum (optional - if you don't use it, your pies will spread out more)
• 3/4 t Salt
• 1-1/2 t Baking Powder
• 1/2 t Baking Soda
• 1/4 C + 2 T Tapioca flour
• 1-1/2 C light buckwheat flour
• 1/2 C Cocoa
• 1/2 C Almond flour (as fresh as possible - grind your own if possible)
• 2 T Rice Flour

Procedure:
Preheat oven to 350 F.

Sift all dry ingredients together.

Mix sugar and butter until fluffy. Add eggs and mix until combined. Alternate additions of dry ingredients and wet ingredients, until everything is in the mixing bowl. Mix briefly, until all ingredients are evenly and thoroughly combined. Make sure dough is fairly firm - it should not be wet or gooey at all.

It should look like this. If it doesn't add a little more flour.

Using an ice cream scoop (I use a smaller size - remember, it spreads!), scoop out balls of dough onto a parchment lined baking sheet. Make sure there is space for the cookie to spread. Here's what it will look like in the oven when the cookies are done baking:

Bake for about 10-15 minutes or until a toothpick comes out dry or the top of the cookie does not retain a mark when touched with your finger. I prefer the pies a little more fudgy and less dry, so if you want a slightly more fudgy cake, pull it out of the oven before the top feels hard.

Allow to cool completely before icing. When ready to ice, use a pastry bag fitted with a star tip or a round tip to create a pretty pattern or just spread a dollop of icing on the cookie with an offset spatula or anything handy you happen to have around your kitchen.

When you are done, if you wrap the whoopie pie in plastic, it will start softening up. In my opinion, Whoopie Pies taste best when they are softer after they've sat in plastic for a day.

Basic Vanilla Filling for Chocolate Whoopie Pies

Yield: enough to ice your Whoopie Pies and your cupcakes, if you have them. So halve the recipe if you don't have an overwhelming need for a surplus of icing.

• 8 oz Butter (2 sticks)
• 6-8 C Confectioners Sugar
• 1/2 C Buttermilk
• 1/2 t salt (dissolve in buttermilk, if possible)
• 1-2 t vanilla extract (depending on how much vanilla flavor you want)

Procedure:

Combine butter and 4 cups of the confectioners sugar and mix until it resembles corn meal. If it combines completely, that's okay. Add the buttermilk with the salt and the vanilla. Mix until completely incorporated. Add 2 more cups of confectioners sugar. Mix again. If the mixture is still wet, add another cup or two of sugar. When it is spreadable but holds its shape, it is done.

For chocolate icing, I use the icing recipe here

Enjoy!

Weekend Warriors: Lost my cool...

It's no secret, I look forward to the weekend. Who doesn't?! Being a SAHM (stay at home mom) I really look forward to this time when Doug is home so that he and Parker can bond and do man things... and I can have a break.

Not the case this weekend. Doug was super busy with work functions and it was pretty much just Park and I. I remember saying mid week, 'Oh it's going to be a long two weeks' referring to the fact that I wouldn't get much time off this weekend. Please note, I barked such negativity before even experiencing the weekend already assuming parts of it would suck... Nice, Chan. Guess what foundation I laid the moment I said that!

Sunday afternoon around 3 we all jumped into bed for a big, long 'family nap.' Parker wouldn't stop trying to look and talk to Doug so we thought this would be easy and fun... WRONG! I couldn't let down and Parker was so tired and impatient that he wouldn't suck for more than two second before getting mad, flailing backwards and crying, over and over again. Then the biting began.

I was trying to stay calm, breath, visualize, touch skin to skin but nothing was working. (Unfortunately this is something I experience a couple times a month... not sure why.) The biting was the final straw and I found myself huffing, puffing and mumbling under my breath. I was MAD. Mad at Parker, mad at Doug... just plain mad.

Finally everyone got to sleep and once awake, we decide to grab dinner at my favorite Thai place. (mmm, short ribs!) I tried to nurse Parker in the restaurant but because he's so social and can't miss a thing I wasn't successful. The food came and Parker was done, finished, ready to go. He had already dropped every toy on the floor 25+ times, sat in the booster seat, passed back and forth between the two of us a gazillion times and expressed himself more than once by screaming at the top of his lungs (his new favorite things!)

I was sweating, felt the stares and again MAD!

'This was all I wanted. Can't I just have this one thing?'
'Thanks, Parker... clearly I'm never going to get to go out to eat ever again.'
'I should have left you at home... '
'I would crack you if you weren't seven months old.'
'blah, blah, blah...'

Back home, I nursed him and he was in bed within 30 minutes.

I'm reading and loving 'Unconditional Parenting' by Alfie Kohn. Since it's past due to the library I'm trying to read the key chapters right now!

The following jumped off the page and slapped me in the face last night.

(subheadings from the chapter on Principles of Unconditional Parenting)
-Consider Your Requests
I was asking a 7 month old to sit quietly for 1 hour in a new place while his parents ate and he didn't.
-Talk Less, Ask More
I basically was telling him all the things I thought he was or wasn't and what I was going to do about it... and never asked him what was wrong or what he wanted.
-Keep Their Ages in Mind
Hello, MORON... he's 7 months old!
-Assume 'best possible motives' until you have the facts
I was assuming because he acted like this, this time that we would act like this every time we go out and that we would never be able to go out to eat again... I wasn't considering that his front tooth finally broke threw, he was excited, missed his Dad, was hungry and tired.

After reading this, I realized that I loose my cool more in these instances when Doug is around. Because subconsciously I'm trying to show him that this is what I experience often and I'm tired, you deal with it. Because I wanted him to feel sorry for me or think that I'm Super Women or something else vain like that...!

I did feel ashamed, but trashed it quickly. I had a lesson to learn and a future of experience to respond differently to!

See growing can be fun! And I just might have to go buy myself some buffet pants in a pretty floral pattern for Spring... because I feel some MASSIVE growth coming on!

Love, Love, Love

the RUSH, the SURGE, it GUSHES
HORMONES transferred by touch and smiles

love UNBREAKABLE, EVERLASTING
days are HARD, long, GRUELING
the rewards are constant yet EVER CHANGING

SLEEP, what's that...
will WE ever SHARE company again
Yet he sleeps PERFECTLY, full of bliss
in MY arms

my HEART smiles
HE is MY true LOVE

Why I'm not getting anything done...

And not just because I'm making videos.
Seriously this kid is EVERYWHERE, and he hasn't even mastered it yet!!!

Untitled from Chandra Endel on Vimeo.

Weekend Warriors: Sitting & Swimming!

We are so close to both sitting and crawling. While it's soooo cute to see, I kind of want to tie him to a tree, (Hey they do it to baby elephants?!) or sit on him or something! It's so hard to watch him grow so fast. I want him to be my snugly babe FOREVER!

A little wobble, but he's doing it!

Tuff is by his side for any backup he might need.

Such a good big brother.

Looking very colorful heading to the pool!

Girls, stand back... he might be better dressed than you!

He is such a hoot at the pool! I swear he would swim if we let go of him! Lessons are in his near future for sure. I mean we have the 2030 Olympics to get ready for!?!

Happy Friday!

Please Notice:

• The wiener dog is wearing a hat
• The guy has marijuana leaves on his shirt
• His green shoe strings tie the whole look together
• He loves the USA
  

Only in Seattle on a sunny day at the Market!

Wish List Wednesday: Potty Time!

Elimination Communication. Invented and mastered by our ancestors and is still being used in third world countries today. The ultimate form of communication between you and your babe and I think it's genius!

We are starting very late compared to many of my friends, but any time is a good time to teach and learn, right... so here we go!

Somethings to help aid in the process, but clearly not a necessity!

BabyBjorn Potty Chair

$29.95
Bjorn also has another version of potty that is cheaper and would work great.
This one is nice if the babe isn't completely sitting up yet.

BabyMISHA Infant Training Pants

$8 each.
These are nice because they come in smaller sizes.
Otherwise Gerber sells a 3 pack for $9.99 and another option is Potty Scotty.

BabyLegs
$6-$15 each
Great all year round. If you wear your baby these are great to cover their legs so they aren't hanging out. If you have hard wood floors or you can use them as sleeves! Target also carries them online. And there are a number of other companies too!

Dear Diary: Overwhelmed...

Dear Diary,

Lately my mind is over powering me, and it's not for good. As I find my physical body more tired and ran down my thoughts too, have joined it. The small things have become BIG things. My usual more positive self now shares it's space with anger and complacency.

'This too shall pass.' I know, I know. But today it is me, last week it was me, heck last month it was me. How much longer will this be me?

I've been reminded lately just how much God is in control and that all things are in His time. I'm experiencing first hand, self sacrifice and feel that the reward is waiting for me high on a shelf with no step stool to reach it. My head is flooded with thoughts of the past and dreams for the future.

Patience, Chandra. Patience.
Perfection is not needed to be loved or to love.

Today, I seek peace and grace with where I am and where I want to be.
If I stop obsessing about what I think I'm not doing, being or becoming... I just might see that I am everything I wish to be. That the future is mine and my gifts are all here...

As Nike once said, 'Just Do It' or better yet 'JUST BE!'

Weekend Warriors: Parker and the Squash

He's six months old, almost sitting up, has 2 teeth and is signaling to me that he wants the boob... I think it's time to eat! We new this day would come and I have to say I have mixed feelings. I am excited to have him at the dinner table in his own chair vs. my lap, I'm excited for him to love food just as much as I do but I don't want him to stop nursing - ever maybe!

For Christmas we received the petit appetit cookbook full of homemade baby food recipes and we love it! Because we naturally have a preference for sweet foods, we are introducing a handful of veggies first. The first feeding was a riot. He loved it... or he thought he did... he would gum it, then swallow - do a full body shake an occasional gag and smile and kick for more! It was HYSTERICAL! By the second day he was practically singing he was so lovin it... here, just watch the video!

It's a bird...

It's a plane, no it's PARKER!


We spent the last week in Ohio and had a blast. At 6 months old, this was the first that our families truly got to see Parker's personality! This video is mild in relation to what my brothers taught him over the week! My little babe now farts on command, chews and can drive a tractor. Ok, maybe I'm being a little dramatic... or maybe you'll never know!