the good, the bad, the ugly...
Sunday, June 22
Pondering life...my life
Life truly is a journey. The good news is, it's ours...but we have to make the choices, right? Do I choose to be 'happy' in this moment, or do I have 'pitty' for myself? Am I 'angry' in this moment, or do I choose to be 'grateful' for these opportunities of experience and growth? I feel like I've been asking myself these questions a lot lately. Does anyone else ever feel this way?...
Lately I've been holding feelings and thoughts in to process them. This is way out of my character...I know! But it's been good for me because it gives me time so I can truly understand what I am feeling and what the true emotions are. This is something I learned from my dear friend 'Tony Robbins!!!' I might not really be angry at someone or about something, but rather feel lonely. And I have one of two choices to make when feeling ANY type of emotion. I can either change how I'm communicating myself if I'm not getting results or I can change how I'm interpreting the whole situation.
Again...I have the choice! Isn't life grand!!!
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Chandra Endel...
Self. Wife. Mother.
My world was forever changed on 8/20/09. Every day I learn something new about myself and living my new life. Now, I am a mother and a kick ass one at that. Some days I am sane... and other days I sport a neon pink straight jacket! Here is my life because it makes me feel normal to share. And maybe my over dramatized & crazy stories, my hippie-vogue style & way of life, will give you joy, hope, inspiration or simply... laughs!
My world was forever changed on 8/20/09. Every day I learn something new about myself and living my new life. Now, I am a mother and a kick ass one at that. Some days I am sane... and other days I sport a neon pink straight jacket! Here is my life because it makes me feel normal to share. And maybe my over dramatized & crazy stories, my hippie-vogue style & way of life, will give you joy, hope, inspiration or simply... laughs!
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2 comments:
It's strange but I have had these same thoughts my whole life. I think that for the most part of my life, since we moved to Sydney when I was 9, I've always felt lonely. Sometimes, it's more intense than others. The one constant in my life is that I move around a lot. I believe this to be the reason why I've always felt like either a bit of an island, or someone looking in from the outside.
I think that the 4 to 6 months I spent with the Delt Ladies in Davenport was probably the only time I've felt like I belonged in some way. I wondered how the friendships would be after I leave Davenport. 2007 was quite difficult for me as I began to realise that my expectations were either misplaced or unrealistic. It's only been recently that I've accepted that perhaps I might always be the person that is new and isn't from around here. And/or the person that lives far away and has to make more of the effort to keep the friendship going. I think I am ok with that now.
This pic of you sitting and thinking is the same image I have of myself in my head when I am in deep thought. I usually picture myself looking out the window at the endless sky or the deep blue ocean.
I haven't ever told anyone how I feel about loneliness, except Phil. I feel that perhaps this may help your thoughts.
I have always known that with God, I am never alone. However, sometimes, I do long for the true gals in my life to actually be here.
I think that in some way, I will alwayts feel lonely. Until I go home to Sydney. Which may not happen for some time =) And I think that these days, I am ok with that.
We do choose how we live. The choices we make however, depends on who we have our faith in - ourselves or God.
Thanks for sharing babe, it was awesome to get a glimpe into your thoughts.
And oh honey, I SOOOOOOOOO love chocolate too!!!!!
Usually when I get emotional - and that is fairly often =) - I also tend to think it through in my head and my heart and maybe talk to Phil. Most times I will talk to God which really helps me to express my emotions in a full way.
I liked the way you expressed the choices we all face - well said babe =)
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